Our Last Sunday

This past Sunday was our last Sunday morning gathering with our sending Church. We are still in town for another month, but because our Church doesn't hold corporate gatherings for the month of July, we will not be attending any more corporate Church events. We leave August 1st for Buffalo!

Aside from the ever growing anticipation, this last 48 hours has afforded me the opportunity for quite a bit of reflection...

I have learned that being a Christian is about a commitment to the person of Christ. Not a commitment to my personal salvation.

I have learned that following Jesus is always done with a brother at your side. Always.

I have learned that my sin can be conquered by the blood of Christ. If I allow it.

I have learned that God does not hold my sin over my head. He is my biggest supporter.

I have learned that learning is about heart changing lessons that result in lifestyle changes, not information that makes me feel that I am better than others.

I have learned that God is heartbroken over the world that He created. He longs for His children to return to Him.

I have learned that I will be judged a success not by what I build, or what I accomplish, but by my love of God and who I touch with that love.

I have learned to worship the one who is worthy.

I have learned that I can actively chose to cooperate with God's Spirit, just like I can actively chose to reject it. I can allow space in my life for his voice and his action; those times of quiet reflection, listening, reading, praying, even working.

I remember Pastor Mike cracking jokes from the pulpit the first time I came to Church; I was at home. I remember him confessing sin from the pulpit; I was relieved. I remember his unwillingness to fumble about with questions that don't have answers; I gained, for the first time, a value for the mystical reality of life with Jesus.

I remember meeting with Pastor Kyle (before he was Pastor Kyle) to come up with Bible Study questions for our small group. For the first time in my life I would spend an entire week meditating, reading, thinking, talking, and studying a single passage of the gospels. It remains to this day one of the richest experiences with the Bible that I have had.

I remember meeting with Pastor Jeff (before he was Pastor Jeff) for the first time one-on-one, and he gave a heartfelt invitation to open up to him. He offered to be there for me, he let me know that if I was struggling he was there for me.

I remember the first time I sobbed and snotted on the floor in front of a group of men, confessing my sin that had been eating at me for months. I remember the relief.

I remember my first trip oversees.

I remember when Pastor Mike told me I was preaching, and I was scared to death.

I remember Cedar throwing up every five minutes, and I remember conversations with Levi.

I remember when I realized that I was going to give my life in service to the Church.

I remember when I was finally able to say the word 'pastor' in reference to myself without stuttering.

I remember sitting in a staff meeting where everyone there told me I was called to plant Churches.

I remember Lisa's deep thoughts, Kerri's dogmatic support, Janie making me laugh, and teasing Lynne about being a preacher one day.

I remember getting licensed as a Pastor.

I remember having our own private, world-famous worship leader; and it didn't even come close to Jeff on the guitar, everyone singing their heart out to God, and Bean playing rythym on a cooking pot with a whisk like Jesus was about to come back!

I remember Jason Verduzco catching on fire! I remember being there when he had to confess the sin that haunted him.

I remember so many faces, and so many prayers.

I remember Zoe’s birth, and the way our Church embraced my in-laws with love.

I remember going to World Mandate with Sean, and having my vision expanded, my heart broken, and my head spun, inside of one weekend.

I remember the first time we had James and Rebecca over for dinner and I couldn’t stop laughing for several hours, I hadn’t laughed that hard, that long, for years.

I remember Nancy’s ubiquitous smile and her attitude that always said, “You can! With Jesus you can do that and more!”

I remember a month in the Ukraine where I learned to play the guitar and fell in love with the Church. Where Tamy and I, Dave and Robin, were bonded together forever by our experiences with each other.

I remember walking with David DeMar every Monday night, coffee in hand, around down-town Redding.

I remember Sjoera's hugs, Kristin's practical jokes, Brad's death. I remember wishing I could have done more to reach out to Paul and Tim, Monday nights at the Barham's house, Carly's phone calls, Grazes at the Amens, Brett's handshakes. I remember the Church that taught me, the Church that is throwing me out of the nest so I can learn to fly, and oneday throw someone out of my nest...

I remember the women who poured their lives into my wife. Seeing her respond to God’s love for her, and call on her life.

I will forever be changed.

I love Jesus, and yet know I do not love him enough.

I love the Church, and yet know I must love her more.

I love the world, and yet know Jesus has still to truly break my heart for his lost ones.

I believe we are called to influence those around us for the Kingdom, and yet I am still learning how to lead.

I have become a Christian here…