Digging up old roots

“The greatest obstacle, indeed, the only obstacle, is that we are not free from passions and lusts, that we do not try to follow the perfect way of the saints. Thus when we encounter some slight difficulty, we are too easily dejected, and turn to human consolations. If we tried, however to stand as brave men in battle, the help of the Lord from heaven would surely sustain us. For He Who gives us the opportunity of fighting for victory, is ready to help those who carry on and trust in His grace.
If we let our progress in religious life depend on the observance of it’s externals alone, our devotion will quickly come to an end. Let us, then, lay the ax to the root, that we might be free from our passions and thus have peace of mind.
If we uproot only one vice each year, we should soon be perfect. The contrary, however, is often the case-we feel that we were better and purer in the first fervor of our conversion that we are after many years in the practice of our faith. Our fervor and progress ought to increase day by day; yet it is now considered note worthy if a man can retain even a part of his first fervor.”

- Thomas a Kempis

My alarm clocks rings for the 3rd time this morning. I sit up and stare sleepily at the clock. 7am. This is not so early for getting up and spending time with the Lord before Yaks. I've have to get up at 4 am before if I wanted any time with the Father in my day. I blankly continue stare at the clock as I plan how much time I would actually spend with the Lord. "Okay, if I spend time with him from 7:30 - 8:00 then I can sleep from 8 - 8:30." I thought to myself. When I am half asleep I can talk myself out of all sorts of things. I continue to think till 7:30 and then I open my Bible and lay on my bed and begin to read. I dazed in and out and kept thinking that I couldn't wait till 8 so I could hit the hay for a half hour more. Then a thought hit me. "If you know what you are supposed to do and you don't do it then you are in sin." I knew that I was supposed to spend an hour with the Lord this morning and I wanted to go to sleep. But apparently that wasn't an option this morning. So I ended up staying up the whole time and spending it with him. It was funny though because satan tries to get in there and do the whole forbidden fruit thing. "Did God really say that you are in sin if you don't do what he says?"

This quote is the devotional I have been reading over this week. It's from "Imitation of Christ." I have been reading one small chapter a week for the last 3 weeks. They can be pretty pretty chewy. This one has stuck out to me the most. What an amazing thing it is. Everything he says is so true. We so often set these crazy goals for ourselves, and we don't ever meet up to them. (I set goals too high.) Then we totally quit and just go to our comfort thing, whether it would be food or other people or hunting, whatever it is. I hate that. If, like Thomas a Kempis said, we stand up and fight, like this morning's quiet time, God will surely stand up for our cause. He will surely defend us. I love how he talks about putting the axe to the root as far as our passions go, and think these are different then the passions that God puts in our hearts, he will give us peace of mind if we let them go. There is just something in this quote that speaks to me. It is possible for me to uproot the vices that have been rooted in me for the past 20 years. All hope is not lost, 20 years of forming habits and such is a long time to try and kick them in just one day, one week, or even one year. But if we can uproot one each year how different everyone would look. I totally think that the fervor he is talking about is awesome too. It is so possible to be just as zealous for the Lord as when we first got saved. A lot of people who are fresh saved will do just about anything for the Lord. They almost immediately love him. That was the feeling I had anyway. "You died for me of course I will love you! You gave your son for me, of course I will call you daddy and of course I love you!" That was my instant reaction. I've had to really recently walk the whole love for the Father out, and allow some healing, I'm in process because that uncondional first reaction love has left and I see God through weird lenses. But that first fervor I had no doubt will return and I will see him through clear lenses. I don't know if any of all of this makes any sense, but this is everything that came out of me reading this section of "The Imitation of Christ"