compassion and mercy, reflection of love?

This is something that I was thinking about the other day. I was talking with a friend of mine about a passage of scripture
"For he says to Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion."
Romans 9:15" and what we thought about that. My friend was saying how this passage made her angry because it seems like God is showing partiality to some and not to others but he tells us not to do this. The next day I was thinking about this and praying and I felt like I was being given a revalation about this subject...
These are the thoughts that I had about this topic while praying and it was so clear that I had to write it down for my friend and she told me that it spoke to her. So here were my thoughts about it:

God's mercy and compassion in not a reflection of his love. In most of us, we are usually able to show mercy and compassion to those that we love and so it is a reflection of our love for a person. However I believe that God loves everyone and that his mercy and compassion is not dished out to those that he loves more. Rather that mercy, compassion, and hard lives are the tool with which God uses to help us fulfill our destiny.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28.

I was thinking that at times those of us who have had really hard lives feel slighted, like God loves those who have had an easier life more but I don't think that this is the case. I think that it really is just each of us have different things that God uses in our lives to develop us into the people that he has called us to be. We all need to know the whole love of God if we are ever to really love the world and I don't think that God would tell us to love each other as he has loved us, if his love for us was slighted or if we were loved less than others.

So my thought is that to everyone that has ever felt like they wish that the could have been God's favorite don't fret you are, If your life has been hard be encouraged that it was not because you were loved less but rather that God knows and loves you more intimately that anyone and he alone knows what will or will not make you into the man or woman he has destined you to be. So we all must grab the bull by the horns and embrace all that is good, and all that is bad knowing that you been given these opportunites because you are so loved that you will not be left to stagnate but rather always in everything given the opportunity to grow...

(please remember these are just my thoughts and ponderings while praying)