How To Be Someone's Friend when you Disagree

For those of you who don't know, the official Vineyard position on ordaining women, is to leave the issue up to the local church. That means that there are Vineyard churches who ordain women, and those who do not. Here is something the Vineyard put out in 2006 to help people navigate this unique position.

GUIDELINES FOR HOW TO LIVE
WITH PEOPLE IN THE VINEYARD
WHO HAVE A DIFFERING PERSPECTIVE
February 15, 2006

I. General Guidelines For Relationships

A. Accept that their view is a matter of conscience in obeying the scriptures.
B. Obviously, this mutual respect has to be worked out by listening well to one another and by careful use of our language so as not to show any disrespect to one another.
C. Abstain from using emotive or impugning language.
D. Endeavor to hear and understand one another.
E. Although it is quite acceptable to state what you believe on a point of disagreement, the basis for your views, and what you believe the possible consequences of accepting the differing view could be, these should be done without personal attack or judgment on the one who disagrees with you, and should be expressed with humility.
F. Show the costly side of loving one another by considering the high importance of the interests of others and putting such consideration into actual practice.
G. Speak respectfully about the various views.
H. Acknowledge that this is one of the "debatable issues" where good Christians can disagree in good conscience.


II. Guidelines on The Issue of Women as Senior Pastors

A. It should not be implied or assumed that those who believe that women should not be senior pastors are women-haters, etc.
B. Mutual respect means that those who believe women cannot be senior pastors must recognize that those who do are committed to the scriptures and are not heretics or among those who believe the Bible is not inspired by God. They simply happen to read the scriptures differently on this point.
C. Those who do not believe women should be senior pastors should not show disrespect to women speakers or women pastors in any of the gatherings. They should bless these women and treat them as true sisters in the Lord.
D. Include women, who happen to be senior pastors, in the guideline of showing the costly side of loving one another by considering the high importance of the interests of others and putting such consideration into actual practice.
E. Respect local churches who do not ordain women by not pressuring them to change their view.