I am submitting my thoughts and ideas in humility because I have not been a pastors wife very long and we have a very small little church and really I know nothing!!
But this article did stir a passion and so many thoughts inside of me!! One of my first reactions was sorrow that so many pastors wives felt that pastoring was their "husbands calling". How can it be his calling when we are joined as one flesh through marriage? I also felt such sorrow that they referred to the church as their husbands "mistress" and of the divorce rate. I was not a woman who saw myself marrying a pastor or ever becoming a pastor's wife, in fact on my wedding day I joked about how I would never be a pastors wife (God does have a sense of humor). But for my husband and I this call of God was ours, not because we both do equal amounts of "pastoring, teaching and preaching" but because we are one, joined by God and so whatever he is called to do I am as well. Although for us I believe us to be more of a ministry team due to some of our feelings about what pastoring does and doesn't look like for us. Pastoring is not my husbands profession, it is our life lived out day to day, Steve can not choose a different profession because we do what we do because Jesus asked us too not because someone hired us and we can not live our lives any differently and feel like we are fulfulling what we were placed on this earth to do. I am glad that pastors wives have found a place to help with lonliness and isolation, I have also felt very lonely at times after arriving in the city to plant a church and leaving so many friends and family at home, but this feeling drove me more into Jesus and allowed me to realize that as lonely as I can possibly be I will never exerience what some on this world will. I will always have someone in my corner. Through these feelings of lonliness and isolation I have become more aware of why Steve and I live the way we do and why we will continue to, because our neighbors, co-workers, cashiers and waitresses experience a lonliness that I no longer know, they live through the same things I do in my life only without the one hope I have. for me thus far it is an honor to be a pastors wife, God chose me to participate in peoples lives to the degree he will allow me, he chose me to be a bringer of hope, love and life. I know that these same people he has called me to will be the ones that cause me the deepest pains, but I don't love them so that they will love me, I love them because God loved me and in this I am given the ability to love them. A wise woman I know told me that as a pasors wife I can not hide from pain, or run away from the hurts you will encounter but instead charge head first into it with the banner of forgiveness over you. I am not judging this article or other pastors wives, it started my head spinning and my passions stirring and these are my thoughts on the subject. I am not a pastors wife because I married one, I am because Jesus asked me to and for him I would do anything. A book that has definatley influenced my perspective and caused me thoughts to ponder is "The Pastors Wife" by Sabina Wurmbrand. Great book and some challenging moments. I know that I am married to an incredible man who passionately loves Jesus with all his heart and I am very blessed in this, so I know that my circumstance is not the same as other women's so please hear my heart of excitment and encouragement and not a criticism or judgement. I am young and idealistic and some day I will get old and then I hope that I will be old and idealistic because I will always believe in the impossible and dream the dreams of God, he came to change the world and I have enlisted myself to him in any way shape or form he asks.
3.31.2007
3.27.2007
3.25.2007
3.24.2007
What if...
What if we truly believed it?
1 John 1:5
What if we simply believed the good news? What if we actually acted out our lives as if God really were good, trustworthy, faithful?
It cannot be that simple? Doesn't God have to extract some divine retribution upon us? God really just loves us?
But what if it were true...
...how would our lives change if it really was a fact that we had a spiritual Father who was absolutely overflowing with love for us! What would be different...
My pastor has said, on numerous occasions, in my hearing, that in all the years, and with all of the people that he has ever counselled, the issue driving all other issues in peoples lives; be it addictions, problems with relationships, emotional problems, etc; the root issue was simply a lack of trust in God.
If we don't really believe God is who He is, then our lives will reflect it; as well if we do believe...
1 John 1:5
What if we simply believed the good news? What if we actually acted out our lives as if God really were good, trustworthy, faithful?
It cannot be that simple? Doesn't God have to extract some divine retribution upon us? God really just loves us?
But what if it were true...
...how would our lives change if it really was a fact that we had a spiritual Father who was absolutely overflowing with love for us! What would be different...
My pastor has said, on numerous occasions, in my hearing, that in all the years, and with all of the people that he has ever counselled, the issue driving all other issues in peoples lives; be it addictions, problems with relationships, emotional problems, etc; the root issue was simply a lack of trust in God.
If we don't really believe God is who He is, then our lives will reflect it; as well if we do believe...
A response...
The following is my response to a blog from someone that I know...
...you should be able to tell from the context, but the original post was about author Brian McLaren, and why his ideas are dangerous...
-----
Thought I’d toss in a couple of pennies on this one…
…McLaren is intentionally vague, I like that. It seems in keeping with the pedagogy of our Master. Why should our preaching be held to a standard that Jesus never held himself to?? This is frightening, I admit, but also freeing. This is one of the primary things I credit McLaren with illuminating for me.
It seems to me that Jesus was not all that concerned with communicating “propositional truths” or disseminating information. This is of course, set within the context of twelve men (and all of the camp followers), spending twenty-four hours a day with Jesus. It is this transmission of life that Jesus was primarily concerned with, and it is ultimately only truly possible in a “life-on-life” setting, such as the one Jesus created for his disciples.
When I think of the things my pastor taught me, the things of influence, what tops the list are not the sermons he preached. The way he read the Bible, and the questions he brought to it (and the questions he DIDN’T bring to it), have drastically effected my understanding of God, and yet this was not a result of a sermon on “how to read your Bible” but rather a result of spending five years watching him read his, watching him interact with the text…
…I said to a friend once, and was severely reprimanded for it, that preaching is one of the least important things a pastor does. I still believe it. I don’t think of the sermon’s I’ve listened to, but rather the way someone treated me; I don’t remember illustrations used, but rather the fact that what was preached was also lived. Simply put, the job-description of a pastor-teacher has never been about information. (Ephesians 4:11-16)
I would never say that preaching and teaching are unimportant, or unecessary, only that they are simply not central. There are many things “emergent” that I find overly reactionary (throwing out proverbial babies…) yet I find the common critiques of gentlemen like Carson to have missed the point of what someone like McLaren is trying to accomplish.
It is not that the altar should be in the center and the pulpit off to the side….
…it is rather that the altar and the pulpit, BOTH, should be peripheral to a life lived. Not unimportant, simply not central. The pulpit and the altar are places of catalyst, as well as places of manifestation, of the life of Christ. But it is my heartfelt contention that it is this life present within ours that is the central aspect of the gospel (Mark 1:15 you have to check out D. Willard’s translation of this verse in Conspiracy, although you probably already have, Luke 17:21)
It is along the lines of your second point…
…are we inviting someone to perform religious exercises (pray this prayer, read this passage, listen to this sermon) or are we inviting them to a mystical experience of the life of Christ? If we are inviting them to experience the life of Jesus then they will certainly participate in religious events along the way, they will pray prayers of repentance, they will participate in the consumption of religious education, etc…
…they will live the lifestyle as a result of trusting in Jesus. (Matthew 12:33)
It is to this end that I believe McLaren is working. If he makes statements that you or I disagree with, or even that are not totally correct (as, of course, anyone who disagrees with us must consequently be), I don’t think he minds…
…in fact I think he would be happy to play the role of provocateur, prompting people to think beyond the accepted ideas that they have never truly considered, and so, never truly held.
...you should be able to tell from the context, but the original post was about author Brian McLaren, and why his ideas are dangerous...
-----
Thought I’d toss in a couple of pennies on this one…
…McLaren is intentionally vague, I like that. It seems in keeping with the pedagogy of our Master. Why should our preaching be held to a standard that Jesus never held himself to?? This is frightening, I admit, but also freeing. This is one of the primary things I credit McLaren with illuminating for me.
It seems to me that Jesus was not all that concerned with communicating “propositional truths” or disseminating information. This is of course, set within the context of twelve men (and all of the camp followers), spending twenty-four hours a day with Jesus. It is this transmission of life that Jesus was primarily concerned with, and it is ultimately only truly possible in a “life-on-life” setting, such as the one Jesus created for his disciples.
When I think of the things my pastor taught me, the things of influence, what tops the list are not the sermons he preached. The way he read the Bible, and the questions he brought to it (and the questions he DIDN’T bring to it), have drastically effected my understanding of God, and yet this was not a result of a sermon on “how to read your Bible” but rather a result of spending five years watching him read his, watching him interact with the text…
…I said to a friend once, and was severely reprimanded for it, that preaching is one of the least important things a pastor does. I still believe it. I don’t think of the sermon’s I’ve listened to, but rather the way someone treated me; I don’t remember illustrations used, but rather the fact that what was preached was also lived. Simply put, the job-description of a pastor-teacher has never been about information. (Ephesians 4:11-16)
I would never say that preaching and teaching are unimportant, or unecessary, only that they are simply not central. There are many things “emergent” that I find overly reactionary (throwing out proverbial babies…) yet I find the common critiques of gentlemen like Carson to have missed the point of what someone like McLaren is trying to accomplish.
It is not that the altar should be in the center and the pulpit off to the side….
…it is rather that the altar and the pulpit, BOTH, should be peripheral to a life lived. Not unimportant, simply not central. The pulpit and the altar are places of catalyst, as well as places of manifestation, of the life of Christ. But it is my heartfelt contention that it is this life present within ours that is the central aspect of the gospel (Mark 1:15 you have to check out D. Willard’s translation of this verse in Conspiracy, although you probably already have, Luke 17:21)
It is along the lines of your second point…
…are we inviting someone to perform religious exercises (pray this prayer, read this passage, listen to this sermon) or are we inviting them to a mystical experience of the life of Christ? If we are inviting them to experience the life of Jesus then they will certainly participate in religious events along the way, they will pray prayers of repentance, they will participate in the consumption of religious education, etc…
…they will live the lifestyle as a result of trusting in Jesus. (Matthew 12:33)
It is to this end that I believe McLaren is working. If he makes statements that you or I disagree with, or even that are not totally correct (as, of course, anyone who disagrees with us must consequently be), I don’t think he minds…
…in fact I think he would be happy to play the role of provocateur, prompting people to think beyond the accepted ideas that they have never truly considered, and so, never truly held.
3.21.2007
Quest
I am starting to enjoy Buffalo more and more. I love going to the downtown area and hanging out down there. It's so pretty. It just has this neat feel to it. I love it.
I feel like it is a new season coming up. I feel more hopeful now about life and God. It's been tough. I've felt down for so long. But a new hope has risen.
Lately I have been praying for unadulterated love (God's love of course) and unadulterated Jesus. The way I view God's love is obviously tainted and so lately I have been praying that I could know God's love apart from people. I'll explain. In my life God's love is dictated by the way people respond to my actions or deeds. If I am doing a lot of good things and getting lots of praise then I feel really loved and like God is well pleased with me. If I am srewing up or not doing things right then I feel like God is mad at me and that he is withholding his love. Hello...that's a lie if I have ever heard one. Past experience has helped this tainted view flourish. But crushing time is here. God is not conditional. This is head knowledge right now but I feel like it is a quest that I am on to obtain this in my heart. I was reading this book called "Blue Like Jazz", the author struggles with recieving love from God, people, whoever. So he was dating this girl and she would always share with him her feelings for him. She would pour out her love and there was some wall there that he couldn't recieve it or something. Well she broke up with him because of this. He could recieve her love. One day he was cleaning his bathroom and he felt like God said, "Love your neighbor as yourself" Well the guy was like alright (why would God tell me this). He went on, you would never look at your neighbor and just bloody him with all of his screw ups. You wouldn't beat him up over every thing wrong with him. No you love your neighbor, you wouldn't dream of treating him or her that way. . . . . . so why do we so often treat ourselves that way. God does not withold his love. Nobody is above the love of God. Not even me. There is not one person that God choses to hate or to love conditionally. Never in history has there been a person that God decided to withhold his love from. I am not the first person nor will there ever be a first person to be hated by God. God's love is not in anyway connected to the things that I can do for him. His love is not bound by constraints. Lavish. Unadulterated. Wild. Rich. Abounding is his love. God isn't going to love me more because I just wrote "a great blog". God isn't going to love me more because I left on a church plant. God isn't going to love me more because I do the noble things. If I was injured in a car accident and made a vegetable for the rest of my life God would not withhold his love from me because I can't do things for him anymore.
So Lord expose us to unadulterated love. Help us to seek and yearn for that. Help me to chose the things of you out of YOUR love and out of who YOU are not because I will be praised for it. Heal my tainted views. Help me to know in my heart that you are not withholding your love from me. Help me to know in my heart that you are not disappointed in me but that you love me. Help everyone who feels this way and help me to know these things in my heart that I might help others like me and Lord thank you for new hope.
Amen
I feel like it is a new season coming up. I feel more hopeful now about life and God. It's been tough. I've felt down for so long. But a new hope has risen.
Lately I have been praying for unadulterated love (God's love of course) and unadulterated Jesus. The way I view God's love is obviously tainted and so lately I have been praying that I could know God's love apart from people. I'll explain. In my life God's love is dictated by the way people respond to my actions or deeds. If I am doing a lot of good things and getting lots of praise then I feel really loved and like God is well pleased with me. If I am srewing up or not doing things right then I feel like God is mad at me and that he is withholding his love. Hello...that's a lie if I have ever heard one. Past experience has helped this tainted view flourish. But crushing time is here. God is not conditional. This is head knowledge right now but I feel like it is a quest that I am on to obtain this in my heart. I was reading this book called "Blue Like Jazz", the author struggles with recieving love from God, people, whoever. So he was dating this girl and she would always share with him her feelings for him. She would pour out her love and there was some wall there that he couldn't recieve it or something. Well she broke up with him because of this. He could recieve her love. One day he was cleaning his bathroom and he felt like God said, "Love your neighbor as yourself" Well the guy was like alright (why would God tell me this). He went on, you would never look at your neighbor and just bloody him with all of his screw ups. You wouldn't beat him up over every thing wrong with him. No you love your neighbor, you wouldn't dream of treating him or her that way. . . . . . so why do we so often treat ourselves that way. God does not withold his love. Nobody is above the love of God. Not even me. There is not one person that God choses to hate or to love conditionally. Never in history has there been a person that God decided to withhold his love from. I am not the first person nor will there ever be a first person to be hated by God. God's love is not in anyway connected to the things that I can do for him. His love is not bound by constraints. Lavish. Unadulterated. Wild. Rich. Abounding is his love. God isn't going to love me more because I just wrote "a great blog". God isn't going to love me more because I left on a church plant. God isn't going to love me more because I do the noble things. If I was injured in a car accident and made a vegetable for the rest of my life God would not withhold his love from me because I can't do things for him anymore.
So Lord expose us to unadulterated love. Help us to seek and yearn for that. Help me to chose the things of you out of YOUR love and out of who YOU are not because I will be praised for it. Heal my tainted views. Help me to know in my heart that you are not withholding your love from me. Help me to know in my heart that you are not disappointed in me but that you love me. Help everyone who feels this way and help me to know these things in my heart that I might help others like me and Lord thank you for new hope.
Amen
3.03.2007
Ramblings...
If "Theology" is knowledge of God, then the letters of Paul are not really Theology, and the parables of Jesus are...
...why then do we quote the epistles, yet ignore the words of Jesus?
Why do we answer the question, "What must I do to be saved?" with quotations from Romans, instead of with the very words Jesus used to answer that exact question?
Certainly I am not disparaging the words of Paul, only contextualizing them. They are primarily pastoral, not theological (this of course includes and implies theological content). Paul addresses issues of "Christian living," Jesus answers the question, "What is God like?"
I have before remarked on the unique situation of quoting Jesus and having a brother contradict that statement with a quotation of Paul. (Obviously we should use Jesus as the lens with which to view Paul, and not vice versa.) What is it about the words of Jesus that we Christians find so inflammatory? Is it that they challenge our religiosity? Do they imply that our religion cannot save, or that the "theologies" we have built for ourselves have nothing to do with God? Jesus cuts through our worked up definitions of "how to get to heaven" with simple parables that point out that our hearts are too black to enter that place...
Isn't it typical of God to reveal himself through make-believe stories and simple acts of compassion...
...true theology is never spoken, but rather acted.
And another train of thought...
Someone spoke the other day about the parable of the "Prodigal Son" and it dawned on me that there was yet another way in which this parable defines my relationship with God. (I have often seen myself in this story as I was raised in the Church, then lived in the world for several years, until ruin befell me; upon which I returned to God.)
The son comes to his senses and plans to return to his father, but he thinks to himself that he is no longer worthy to be a son, he will return as a servant. But this shows that the son never truly understood the depths of his father's love. The father's response to this attitude in his son is to interrupt him with love and blessing.
When I returned to my spiritual father, I did so with fear and trepidation (as is proper) but also with unconscious doubts about His goodness and wholehearted desire to bless. For several years I was afraid that God desired to bring calamity upon me. I thought that He could use me as a servant, and that my humiliation would somehow bring Him glory; but I could not believe that God would still treat me as a son, I had squandered my Father's blessing, He would not bestow another upon me...
...but I had failed to understand the goodness of my Father. God continued to speak to me, "My son, I love you and value you deeply, I will throw a costly party to celebrate your return!"
Thankfully God's patient persistence won out over my fear and unbelief!
...why then do we quote the epistles, yet ignore the words of Jesus?
Why do we answer the question, "What must I do to be saved?" with quotations from Romans, instead of with the very words Jesus used to answer that exact question?
Certainly I am not disparaging the words of Paul, only contextualizing them. They are primarily pastoral, not theological (this of course includes and implies theological content). Paul addresses issues of "Christian living," Jesus answers the question, "What is God like?"
I have before remarked on the unique situation of quoting Jesus and having a brother contradict that statement with a quotation of Paul. (Obviously we should use Jesus as the lens with which to view Paul, and not vice versa.) What is it about the words of Jesus that we Christians find so inflammatory? Is it that they challenge our religiosity? Do they imply that our religion cannot save, or that the "theologies" we have built for ourselves have nothing to do with God? Jesus cuts through our worked up definitions of "how to get to heaven" with simple parables that point out that our hearts are too black to enter that place...
Isn't it typical of God to reveal himself through make-believe stories and simple acts of compassion...
...true theology is never spoken, but rather acted.
And another train of thought...
Someone spoke the other day about the parable of the "Prodigal Son" and it dawned on me that there was yet another way in which this parable defines my relationship with God. (I have often seen myself in this story as I was raised in the Church, then lived in the world for several years, until ruin befell me; upon which I returned to God.)
The son comes to his senses and plans to return to his father, but he thinks to himself that he is no longer worthy to be a son, he will return as a servant. But this shows that the son never truly understood the depths of his father's love. The father's response to this attitude in his son is to interrupt him with love and blessing.
When I returned to my spiritual father, I did so with fear and trepidation (as is proper) but also with unconscious doubts about His goodness and wholehearted desire to bless. For several years I was afraid that God desired to bring calamity upon me. I thought that He could use me as a servant, and that my humiliation would somehow bring Him glory; but I could not believe that God would still treat me as a son, I had squandered my Father's blessing, He would not bestow another upon me...
...but I had failed to understand the goodness of my Father. God continued to speak to me, "My son, I love you and value you deeply, I will throw a costly party to celebrate your return!"
Thankfully God's patient persistence won out over my fear and unbelief!
3.02.2007
News From Buffalo
Well here we are in Buffalo and well.....it's very cold right now!! We have just found out some very exciting news, we are expecting another baby!! God has blessed us again, this last week was a tough one as I think that I caught a stomach bug along with morning sickness and well I thought I was dying but here I am alive and kicking.
Other than babies there are new and exciting things happening all the time here, God is bringing new people here and building stonger relationships in the people we already know. I have met a few friends with children and it has been a blessing. I feel like God has been giving us a love for the city but still sometimes it doesn't quite feel like home, however I know that it is.
Today I was thanking God that I am able to live in a place where I can constantly feel the brokenness and lack of hope in peoples lives, there are daily happenings in which I realize this is why God has sent us here and i often feel myself brokenhearted for the shape of some lives. People here are not all pretty, and looking like they have it together. I can definately step out of my door and run into people whose lives are falling apart, who aren't pretty or nice, whose lives are vividly in need of hope and restoration. So I am thankful for this daily reminder of why I moved across the country to this city, but also there are times when it is hard not to see the world as too empty or hopeless or broken. Or that there are too many people this way and there will never be enough time to meet them all, love them all and hopefully show them the path to hope. Some one said (I don't know who) that Jesus saw the world as a good place and I am always challenged by this. There are times when I see it as good but often I see all that is not right and long for it to be. So I think that is what may keep me an idealist, is that if Jesus saw the world as a good place then that means all that is not right has the possiblity of being made right or restored. I love the words restored and redeemed to me they paint such a picture of a transformation of something into that which nobody thought it could ever be, that is the place that hope is born. If I can believe in words like redeemed and restored and really know that they describe that which can take place in people, cities and nations.....then there in lies my hope ....Jesus does this. I have yet to see a city or a nation redeemed and restored personally but I have heard of such things, however in my own personal life I have seen him do this in people. He did it in me, even in our home that we live now he has done that. It was a crack house before we moved in, it was a brothel sometime before that and now people live in it and gather together here in it to worship God and sing praises to him. Our hope is that this house will be a beacon of love to the wolrd around it. So I will give my life to God as an offering in hopes that he will allow me the great privledge of participating in the restoration of the city of Buffalo and the world. I will dream a big dream because I love and serve a big God...
Other than babies there are new and exciting things happening all the time here, God is bringing new people here and building stonger relationships in the people we already know. I have met a few friends with children and it has been a blessing. I feel like God has been giving us a love for the city but still sometimes it doesn't quite feel like home, however I know that it is.
Today I was thanking God that I am able to live in a place where I can constantly feel the brokenness and lack of hope in peoples lives, there are daily happenings in which I realize this is why God has sent us here and i often feel myself brokenhearted for the shape of some lives. People here are not all pretty, and looking like they have it together. I can definately step out of my door and run into people whose lives are falling apart, who aren't pretty or nice, whose lives are vividly in need of hope and restoration. So I am thankful for this daily reminder of why I moved across the country to this city, but also there are times when it is hard not to see the world as too empty or hopeless or broken. Or that there are too many people this way and there will never be enough time to meet them all, love them all and hopefully show them the path to hope. Some one said (I don't know who) that Jesus saw the world as a good place and I am always challenged by this. There are times when I see it as good but often I see all that is not right and long for it to be. So I think that is what may keep me an idealist, is that if Jesus saw the world as a good place then that means all that is not right has the possiblity of being made right or restored. I love the words restored and redeemed to me they paint such a picture of a transformation of something into that which nobody thought it could ever be, that is the place that hope is born. If I can believe in words like redeemed and restored and really know that they describe that which can take place in people, cities and nations.....then there in lies my hope ....Jesus does this. I have yet to see a city or a nation redeemed and restored personally but I have heard of such things, however in my own personal life I have seen him do this in people. He did it in me, even in our home that we live now he has done that. It was a crack house before we moved in, it was a brothel sometime before that and now people live in it and gather together here in it to worship God and sing praises to him. Our hope is that this house will be a beacon of love to the wolrd around it. So I will give my life to God as an offering in hopes that he will allow me the great privledge of participating in the restoration of the city of Buffalo and the world. I will dream a big dream because I love and serve a big God...
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