Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
12.20.2016
Love?
"When the satisfaction or security of another person becomes as significant to one as one's own satisfaction or security, then the state of love exists. ... Under no other circumstances is a state of love present, regardless of the popular usage of the term."
11.02.2016
Christians and the Politics of Poverty
The government should be responsible for alleviating poverty in our country.
The government should not be responsible for alleviating poverty in our country.
As a Christian,* you can support either of those positions without violating your faith in God. As a Christian, however, you cannot stop there. Regardless of your political persuasion, a follower of Jesus is compelled to engage personally and sacrificially in the plight of those living in poverty.
Both of the statements often serve as an excuse to avoid following the clear teaching of Jesus. We are taught to love our neighbor, and to help those who are hurting in any way. This is not an action that we can ignore, nor is it an action that we can delegate to others by virtue of our vote.
Regardless of our politics, we must follow the example of Jesus, the leading of the Holy Spirit, and the teaching of Scripture, to get personally involved. To fail to do so would undoubtedly violate our faith in God.
*If you are not a Christian, then you can safely ignore these words.
9.06.2016
Activism
Activism is, according to one definition, "the policy or action of using vigorous campaigning to bring about political or social change."
On the face of it, this seems like something that should flow directly from a Christian commitment to make the world a better place. Certainly there are some of us who would be more, or less, called by God to engage in a lifestyle of activism, or activism around specific issues within our society.
There is, however, a trap that must be avoided. It is the same trap that plagues our charitable giving. Namely, the possibility that in hitting the streets for the latest rally, canvassing for my favorite new candidate or law, or arguing with my ignorant relatives over Thanksgiving dinner, I am actually ignoring the very people who suffer and need my help.
Activism, too, can be a way of avoiding the call to love our neighbors.
8.22.2016
The Alternative to Charity
The alternative to this false charity is to love well.
In moving to a house that was inundated with homeless individuals where panhandling was almost an hourly occurrence in my life, I was quickly confronted with the need to discern some 'best practices.'
I will be the first to confess that I don't have it all figured out, but that time in my life helped me to figure a few things out. Its worth noting, that these are my rules, no one has to follow them but me:
In moving to a house that was inundated with homeless individuals where panhandling was almost an hourly occurrence in my life, I was quickly confronted with the need to discern some 'best practices.'
I will be the first to confess that I don't have it all figured out, but that time in my life helped me to figure a few things out. Its worth noting, that these are my rules, no one has to follow them but me:
- Don't do things because it makes me feel better. Do things that I think might genuinely help the human being stating in front of me asking for help.
- Don't ignore those feelings inside myself. Don't just walk by and ignore the situation. Don't ignore people.
- Engage. Make eye contact. Get their name, and use it.
- Find the real problem, and offer to help. Is it a ride? A meal? A job? Usually the situation is bigger than my ability to solve it. But usually there is something I can do to be a friend and encourage them to begin to solve it. The trick is, I usually have to dig a little to get to the real problem.
- Meet needs out of my own personal resources, never (or rarely) give money. Let someone borrow my phone. Give someone a ride in my car. Sit down and have lunch ...together. Introduce them to someone I know who might be able to help more.
- Offer to pray. Ask God to bless them. Listen to what God might have to say about this encounter.
- Where appropriate, and they seem open, invite them to church. Encourage them that God cares, and they are welcome in His house.
8.20.2016
Charity
The English word "charity" comes from the Latin word for "love."
Indeed, the word charity is an archaic word for love even in the English language. One can see the obvious connection between the older usage of the word and its present use. If we love people, we will help them when they need it.
So lets think a little about the word charity, and the practice of charity.
We usually offer to give charity to people because we can see an obvious problem, and we are moved to action by some internal motivation. That internal motivation could be compassion, it could be guilt, it could be duty, it could be shame, it could be any number of things...
...but we are motivated by something inside of us.
So far, so good.
It is at this point that the problem arises, we must chose what we are going to do to respond to this internal motivation. The common response is to simply give a few dollars to a person in need. This is the most basic form of charity. To give money.
Why do we give money?
We don't have time to ask about this person's situation, we don't really desire to get to know them, or let them get to know us. When confronted with a situation where someone is in obvious need of help, we give money, precisely so we don't have to get more involved! We don't have the interest in learning what this person really needs, discerning what would really help. In short, we don't care about helping them, we care about the way we feel...
Why do we give money?
Because it is the simplest way to address that feeling inside of us!
The irony is, we are giving money, precisely so that we don't have to love someone, and then we call it charity.
11.09.2015
Perverted
"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it."
Upton Sinclair
Upton Sinclair wrote one of the most influential works of literature in the history of the United States of America. His novel The Jungle was catalytic in the passage of the Food and Drug Act. Indeed, the act passed into law only four months after the book was published. Sinclair was pushed into the spotlight as a national figure for his work.
The book detailed the lives of immigrants in America, many of whom worked in the meat processing industry; at the time, a horrifyingly disgusting and dangerous workplace environment. Sinclair wrote the book as an intended expose on the plight of the poor and immigrant in our country, and the exploitive way the rich were treating them. The American public responded to Sinclair's book with great uproar, but not in the way Sinclair had hoped…
He is quoted as saying, "I aimed at the public's heart, and by accident I hit it in the stomach."
One of the most gruesome episodes in the novel, (a worker falling into a lard-rendering vat, instantly dead, and unable to be removed), served not, as one might think, to provoke changes in worker safety, but to protect the purity of American lard by the immediate passage of federal legislation.
Upton Sinclair
==============
Upton Sinclair wrote one of the most influential works of literature in the history of the United States of America. His novel The Jungle was catalytic in the passage of the Food and Drug Act. Indeed, the act passed into law only four months after the book was published. Sinclair was pushed into the spotlight as a national figure for his work.
The book detailed the lives of immigrants in America, many of whom worked in the meat processing industry; at the time, a horrifyingly disgusting and dangerous workplace environment. Sinclair wrote the book as an intended expose on the plight of the poor and immigrant in our country, and the exploitive way the rich were treating them. The American public responded to Sinclair's book with great uproar, but not in the way Sinclair had hoped…
He is quoted as saying, "I aimed at the public's heart, and by accident I hit it in the stomach."
One of the most gruesome episodes in the novel, (a worker falling into a lard-rendering vat, instantly dead, and unable to be removed), served not, as one might think, to provoke changes in worker safety, but to protect the purity of American lard by the immediate passage of federal legislation.
5.22.2015
Love Your Neighbor pt II
The small group I belong to had a blast this week…
…Donna (one of the women in our group) has started making a list of her neighbors who need help on projects around their homes. One of those people was a woman who has gotten to the point where she can no longer bend over to do work on the ground, her husband has passed, and she has no family in the area to help. Additionally, the City has been pestering her about some of the peeling paint on her home.
So we went over to brush and repaint her foundation wall.
Almost 20 of us showed up (including kids) and we got about half the job done (you can see pictures below). There weren't quite enough tools to go around, so several people ended up hanging out with our neighbor while we worked.
Our plan was to order pizza and head back down the block to Donna's house, but instead we were told we had to come inside and eat. (This is typical Italian hospitality, and our host is proudly Sicilian…) So inside we went!
It was a wonderful blessing to me to watch our small group love each other, and love this woman. Over the course of the evening people engaged with our host, asking her about her life, chatting with her, encouraging her, loving her…
…at one point she said to me, "this is like a godsend… wait a minute, this IS a Godsend!"
Several of us were able to pray for her, blessing her home and her life. We are headed back next Wednesday to finish the job!
I was struck by how naturally our small group community was able to serve together, love together, and minister together. There wasn't anything forced or awkward about the way we were present with our neighbor.
I left with a full heart.
…Donna (one of the women in our group) has started making a list of her neighbors who need help on projects around their homes. One of those people was a woman who has gotten to the point where she can no longer bend over to do work on the ground, her husband has passed, and she has no family in the area to help. Additionally, the City has been pestering her about some of the peeling paint on her home.
So we went over to brush and repaint her foundation wall.
Almost 20 of us showed up (including kids) and we got about half the job done (you can see pictures below). There weren't quite enough tools to go around, so several people ended up hanging out with our neighbor while we worked.
Our plan was to order pizza and head back down the block to Donna's house, but instead we were told we had to come inside and eat. (This is typical Italian hospitality, and our host is proudly Sicilian…) So inside we went!
It was a wonderful blessing to me to watch our small group love each other, and love this woman. Over the course of the evening people engaged with our host, asking her about her life, chatting with her, encouraging her, loving her…
…at one point she said to me, "this is like a godsend… wait a minute, this IS a Godsend!"
Several of us were able to pray for her, blessing her home and her life. We are headed back next Wednesday to finish the job!
I was struck by how naturally our small group community was able to serve together, love together, and minister together. There wasn't anything forced or awkward about the way we were present with our neighbor.
I left with a full heart.
5.21.2015
Love Your Neighbor
A friend and I visited a neighboring City. We ended up staying at a hostel and got to have some really exciting spiritual conversations with the host. He was not a person who had committed to the Kingdom, but was clearly interested in Jesus, and was open to spiritual things. We sat on the porch enjoying a beer, and some really deep conversations. Over our time in the hostel we were able to pray with him, and to invite him to the Christian fellowship we had connections to in that City. It was really quite a blessing to have that experience, although I have no idea what has happened to him in the time since our visit.
...but here is where the story gets sad.
We found out during our stay there, that there was a Christian 'discipleship house' immediately next door to the hostel. Unfortunately, we found this out because at some point in our conversation with our host he commented, "you aren't like the other Christians." Of course we asked him to clarify what he meant by this.
He replied, "there is a christian house next door, and we tried to get to know them, but they told us that they aren't allowed to talk to us. I think they are afraid we will rub off on them."
A litany of emotions flooded through me... anger, frustration, confusion, depression, compassion, hope, despair. How could it be possible that a house full of committed followers of Christ could live next door to this man for so long, but it took two men coming from Buffalo to share the love of God with him?
3.09.2015
6.05.2014
Orthopathy
Orthopathy is a great word, it has now entered my lexicon. But the concept is not new...
St Augustine taught that the essence of Christian discipleship was developing 'rightly ordered love.' In essence we have to learn what to love, and how to love, in ways that are consistent with the love of God, as a catalyst for orthodoxy and orthopraxy, and as the fulfillment of them.
Indeed, St Peter wrote that 'love covers a multitude of sins' (ie orthpathy is more important than othopraxy) and Jesus Himself taught that the repentant sinner is better than the righteous Pharisee who doesn't need repentance (ie orthopathy is superior to orthopraxy AND orthodoxy). Jesus quotes the OT Scriptures that say the same thing, "I desire mercy and not sacrifice."
5.07.2014
Mature Leaders Embody Love
This is from a friend of mine:
Mature Leaders are patient:
They don’t give up quickly.
Mature Leaders are kind:
They understand the power and value of gentleness, and the healing work of a soft word spoken in season.
Mature Leaders do not envy:
They rejoice as they see others grow and develop within the organization.
Mature Leaders do not boast:
They aren’t quick to share their own accomplishments but would rather see others receive credit they deserve.
Mature Leaders are not proud:
They are not insistent on their own way but are diligent about gathering the perspective of others.
Mature Leaders do not dishonor others:
They do not secretly point out the shortcoming of others, but consider how the gifts they posses can compliment and compensate for others.
Mature Leaders are not self-seeking:
They are thinking about how to serve their co-laborers.
Mature Leaders are not easily angered:
They do not quickly lose their temper, but are careful and guarded with their words, understanding that a single word misspoken can do more damage to an organization – or to a staff worker - than can years of service.
Mature Leaders keep no record of wrongs:
They are not one who will list out the mistakes of the past but instead have released them and forgiven them for their sake and for the sake of the work of the body.
Mature Leaders do not delight in evil but rejoice with the truth:
They are grieved when there are failed relationships.
Mature Leaders always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere:
This is packed full of meaning – rather than exposing faults of other staff, they actively engage in protecting their reputation, their role, and their value within the organization.
Mature Leaders never fail:
They exhibit all of the above day after day.
Mature Leaders are patient:
They don’t give up quickly.
Mature Leaders are kind:
They understand the power and value of gentleness, and the healing work of a soft word spoken in season.
Mature Leaders do not envy:
They rejoice as they see others grow and develop within the organization.
Mature Leaders do not boast:
They aren’t quick to share their own accomplishments but would rather see others receive credit they deserve.
Mature Leaders are not proud:
They are not insistent on their own way but are diligent about gathering the perspective of others.
Mature Leaders do not dishonor others:
They do not secretly point out the shortcoming of others, but consider how the gifts they posses can compliment and compensate for others.
Mature Leaders are not self-seeking:
They are thinking about how to serve their co-laborers.
Mature Leaders are not easily angered:
They do not quickly lose their temper, but are careful and guarded with their words, understanding that a single word misspoken can do more damage to an organization – or to a staff worker - than can years of service.
Mature Leaders keep no record of wrongs:
They are not one who will list out the mistakes of the past but instead have released them and forgiven them for their sake and for the sake of the work of the body.
Mature Leaders do not delight in evil but rejoice with the truth:
They are grieved when there are failed relationships.
Mature Leaders always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere:
This is packed full of meaning – rather than exposing faults of other staff, they actively engage in protecting their reputation, their role, and their value within the organization.
Mature Leaders never fail:
They exhibit all of the above day after day.
3.29.2014
Spiritual Care at Jericho Road Community Health Center
Because of his limited English, and my non-existent Arabic, Ali* spoke to me through his teenage son. I introduced myself as a part of the Spiritual Care team, and explained that my role was to see how he is doing spiritually, and offer whatever spiritual care that I could. Ali said that he was comfortable talking with me about this, so I sat down. I asked him about his background and discovered that he was an Iraqi man and a muslim. He shared more, that he had come to Buffalo several years before.
As we discussed how his immigration to the US had affected his life and his spiritual health, I asked him, “Do you like it here, does this feel like home?” At this question, Ali’s countenance fell, he responded, “No, I miss my homeland very much.” He described his hope for the future of his homeland, and his desire to return there, but his equally strong desire to raise his children here in the US and his preference that they would stay. He spoke of the violence and brokenness in Iraq, and his longing to bring help to his people. It was obvious from his body language and facial expressions, as well as the words he was using, that he had some deep emotional discomfort.
I asked if I could pray for him, this led to a long conversation (confused by the need for translation) that I was a follower of Jesus, and that, while muslims pray at regular times during the day, I would like to pray for him right there in the room. At first he seemed a little wary of my offer, and I couldn’t tell if it was because I was offering him prayer as a Christian, or if it was simply because of the language barrier. When I was able to convey that I would like to ask God to bless him and his family, he responded with a strong, “yes!” in English. He would not, however, let me pray just for his family. He asked that I pray for the peace and prosperity of Iraq. Again, I could see his distress over his nation and his people.
We held hands, the three of us, and I spoke to Jesus in English, while Ali’s son translated into Arabic for his father to understand. I prayed very simply, asking the Holy Spirit to come and visit us there in the room. I spoke a blessing to the father-heart of Ali for his children, and asked for God’s protection and provision over their family. Then we prayed for Iraq, and we asked for God to set things right in that country. We asked for peace, hope, and justice. When we finished Ali thanked me repeatedly and heartily for my prayer. I also thanked him (and his son) for joining me in prayer, and for allowing me to know some of the intimate details of their story, and I encouraged them that I was convinced that God cared deeply about them and about their homeland.
*Ali is not his real name.
3.05.2012
Two Types of Knowing: Pt II
Spanish Words and an Epistemology of Love:
The Spanish words "conocer" and "saber" are both translated into English as "to know." However, they don't mean the same thing. Saber means to have knowledge about something, whereas conocer means to have relationship with a person. I know (saber) which cupboard the plates are in but I know (conocer) Jim who owns the house, the cupboard, and the plates.
This speaks to the previous post of Lewis' reflections. In short, there is a kind of knowledge that comes from study, and there is another kind of knowledge that comes from love. It is this second kind of knowledge that NT Wright refers to as an 'Epistemology of Love.' Whereby we are learning about things from the inside, as it were, instead of from without.
The Spanish words "conocer" and "saber" are both translated into English as "to know." However, they don't mean the same thing. Saber means to have knowledge about something, whereas conocer means to have relationship with a person. I know (saber) which cupboard the plates are in but I know (conocer) Jim who owns the house, the cupboard, and the plates.
This speaks to the previous post of Lewis' reflections. In short, there is a kind of knowledge that comes from study, and there is another kind of knowledge that comes from love. It is this second kind of knowledge that NT Wright refers to as an 'Epistemology of Love.' Whereby we are learning about things from the inside, as it were, instead of from without.
4.03.2011
Enchantment
“God and His purpose is the eternal object and enchantment of the faithful heart.”
Jean-Pierre de Caussade
Jean-Pierre de Caussade
12.28.2010
6.14.2010
Dorothy Sayers
The Man Born to Be King
King Herod tells the magi: "You cannot rule men by love. When you find your king, tell him so. Only three things will govern a people--fear and greed and the promise of security."
King Herod tells the magi: "You cannot rule men by love. When you find your king, tell him so. Only three things will govern a people--fear and greed and the promise of security."
5.28.2010
Corrie ten Boom
Corrie ten Boom and her sister were sent to Nazi concentration camps for giving help to Jewish people during the holocaust.
Corrie stood naked with her older sister Betsie, watching a concentration camp matron beating a prisoner. "Oh, the poor woman," Corrie cried. "Yes, may God forgive her," Betsie replied. And, once again, Corrie realized that it was for the souls of the brutal Nazi guards that her sister prayed.
Corrie stood naked with her older sister Betsie, watching a concentration camp matron beating a prisoner. "Oh, the poor woman," Corrie cried. "Yes, may God forgive her," Betsie replied. And, once again, Corrie realized that it was for the souls of the brutal Nazi guards that her sister prayed.
5.15.2010
I am still in LOVE with Steve!!!!
Well to start this, in case anyone was wondering this is Tamy!!! hahaha
So tonight my husband was going to take my kiddos to a graduation ceremony without me as I am working. So after all the face and hand scurbbing, redressing, finding all the shoes and socks and coats 3 kids are at the door ready to go....My youngest decides to stand on his dad's guitar case (which he knows he is not supposed to) so Dad takes his foot and bops him on the butt. Which happened to catch Aidan off balance and landed him on his face, and he started crying. So I then take the opportunity to scold my husband in front of the kids and a friend. After the kids and the friend go to the car and Steve says " you are riding me, that was accident." I am still a little miffed and so I tell him my side then end up saying I am sorry, and go and apologize to the friend for scolding Steve in front of him, then they all drive off......
So I start to reflect and realize that I can really point out all of his wrongs and I can't remember him doing that to me. He is a easy-going man who really has patience with a wife that can be..Yes a NAG!!! I hate to say it but there are times when I really can just NAG him, and I am confessing it cause I need to stop it.
So I love Steve because :
He is patient and kind
He genuinely loves people with a nonjudgemental and complete kind of love
He is truly follows Jesus, I live closer to him than anyone and I still respect his character and feel blessed to call him husband
He plays with his kids, and everyone elses too!
He looks at me like I am 20 years old and just recently stole his heart...but it has been 11 years, 3 kids, a cross country move (with children), a church plant, and definately some great and some hard times...
He is a man with little to prove and great desire to learn
I have seen him put other men at ease no matter where they are from or what they are doing....he is relatable and genuine
So Steve I love ya and I'll be trying not to nag ya!!! thanks for all your patience....
tam
So tonight my husband was going to take my kiddos to a graduation ceremony without me as I am working. So after all the face and hand scurbbing, redressing, finding all the shoes and socks and coats 3 kids are at the door ready to go....My youngest decides to stand on his dad's guitar case (which he knows he is not supposed to) so Dad takes his foot and bops him on the butt. Which happened to catch Aidan off balance and landed him on his face, and he started crying. So I then take the opportunity to scold my husband in front of the kids and a friend. After the kids and the friend go to the car and Steve says " you are riding me, that was accident." I am still a little miffed and so I tell him my side then end up saying I am sorry, and go and apologize to the friend for scolding Steve in front of him, then they all drive off......
So I start to reflect and realize that I can really point out all of his wrongs and I can't remember him doing that to me. He is a easy-going man who really has patience with a wife that can be..Yes a NAG!!! I hate to say it but there are times when I really can just NAG him, and I am confessing it cause I need to stop it.
So I love Steve because :
He is patient and kind
He genuinely loves people with a nonjudgemental and complete kind of love
He is truly follows Jesus, I live closer to him than anyone and I still respect his character and feel blessed to call him husband
He plays with his kids, and everyone elses too!
He looks at me like I am 20 years old and just recently stole his heart...but it has been 11 years, 3 kids, a cross country move (with children), a church plant, and definately some great and some hard times...
He is a man with little to prove and great desire to learn
I have seen him put other men at ease no matter where they are from or what they are doing....he is relatable and genuine
So Steve I love ya and I'll be trying not to nag ya!!! thanks for all your patience....
tam
5.13.2010
Sense and Sensibility
I just watched this with my wife...
My children and I had purchased it (along with Ever After and some smelly candles) for Mother's Day.
After we finished the movie, I turned to my wife and facetiously said, "we can never let our daughter watch this until well after she is married!"
As we were getting ready for bed we talked about our daughter and her romantic sensibilities. She is incurable. She has already had her first brush with heartbreak.
====================
In the movie is a character, John Willoughby, who romances one of the leading characters named Marianne. He is romantic, dashing, and handsome. His passion and wit are exactly what she is hoping for, and her passion burns bright alongside his. It is then revealed that he has an illegitimate child from another woman, and has set aside his feelings for Marianne for the money he will receive if he marries another woman.
Marriane is crushed.
But she then discovers another, a man who has been there all along, who loves her deeply and constantly. The heartbreak of her first romance allows her to reflect on her own foolishness in judgment, and to see more clearly those attributes in a man that are truly worthy of love and admiration.
====================
After talking through the movie with my wife, I realized that this is the perfect movie to show my daughter, (perhaps in another few years!) to open the door to deeper reflection.
I pray that my daughter can learn enough from watching the fictional Willoughby action, such that she will never fall into the hands of a flesh and blood Willoughby...
My children and I had purchased it (along with Ever After and some smelly candles) for Mother's Day.
After we finished the movie, I turned to my wife and facetiously said, "we can never let our daughter watch this until well after she is married!"
As we were getting ready for bed we talked about our daughter and her romantic sensibilities. She is incurable. She has already had her first brush with heartbreak.
====================
In the movie is a character, John Willoughby, who romances one of the leading characters named Marianne. He is romantic, dashing, and handsome. His passion and wit are exactly what she is hoping for, and her passion burns bright alongside his. It is then revealed that he has an illegitimate child from another woman, and has set aside his feelings for Marianne for the money he will receive if he marries another woman.
Marriane is crushed.
But she then discovers another, a man who has been there all along, who loves her deeply and constantly. The heartbreak of her first romance allows her to reflect on her own foolishness in judgment, and to see more clearly those attributes in a man that are truly worthy of love and admiration.
====================
After talking through the movie with my wife, I realized that this is the perfect movie to show my daughter, (perhaps in another few years!) to open the door to deeper reflection.
I pray that my daughter can learn enough from watching the fictional Willoughby action, such that she will never fall into the hands of a flesh and blood Willoughby...
3.09.2010
Wrestling God....
So this is a once a year appearance of Tamy to the blog...but here I am for a few thoughts...
I truly feel as if I have wrestled God lately, he has been bringing me through something that at first I just wanted to run away from or be healed of. However through God's grace I am seeing the beauty of this struggle and even slightly thankful for the experience. I am not sure if it is over yet either as I am finding only he really knows, and sometimes that is a comfort and sometimes that is for me terribly frightening.
I am a passionate woman who has surely tasted of the goodness of God and I would love to report that I don't often forget that but in times of hardship I am someone who has seen the mighty hand of GOd only to doubt it when in the wilderness. I too like the Isarelites have seen the Red Seas in my life parted and then grumble and complain about no food or water in the desert and have often thought I would be better in my previous situation than in the current. The wrestling I have done as of lately is primarily due to my own desire for control and tendency to worry instead of trust. At one clear moment in this trial I remember thinking that I just did not want to do what God was asking and I just didn't want to trust but...to whom else can I go cause He has the words of eternal life. I felt stuck cause I desperately wanted out of my situation but I could not turn my back on my Lord cause I have seen the things he does and the beauty that follows His purposes. I also could not pretend that I am surrendered when in fact I am not, that false living would be even worse that turning my back on him. So it was in this time that I called in the big Guns ( those spirit embodied friends of mine that at scattered to the four corners of the world) to please pray and for insight, and I do not know that it was in those conversations that I heard from God. Those conversations instead provided the safe place to wrestle, those friends love me and point me back to the fact that God to loves me, and anything that he is doing will be for his beautiful purposes. God has been showing me his beautiful purposes in this trial, and I am seeing that sometimes the thing that we hate and try to rid ourselves of is the very thing that God uses to reveal himself in. My paradigm for viewing life and more importantly God in this life is changing. I am being liberated from control and worry, (the lenses that I often view things from) but it is deeper cause in my desire for control and when I worry I have seen God as desiring to be in control and wanting things his way. So there was this sense of God as task-master instead of father, lover, friend. He is faithfully showing me His love and most often this happens through my kids. They are so assured of my love and their importance to me, they are confident when they approach me and ask for whatever they want, they have no problem interrupting me or climbing all over me while I am talking or doing something. This for me is a small illustration of the Fathers desire for us to approach him, and in my response to my children, the way that I love them and can't stop it no matter what they do, I just love them. This reveals His heart towards us...
I can not really explain all that I feel Him doing, I truly feel like chains are being broken in my heart, I taste of the coming freedom from all that would seek to capture my soul. The way that I see God, my service to him, my life lived with friends and strangers is all changing somehow that I can't explain. The glasses that I am used to wearing I am taking off and I am in the period of time where my eyes are learning to adjust but if I patiently wait I will see clearly again.
I truly feel as if I have wrestled God lately, he has been bringing me through something that at first I just wanted to run away from or be healed of. However through God's grace I am seeing the beauty of this struggle and even slightly thankful for the experience. I am not sure if it is over yet either as I am finding only he really knows, and sometimes that is a comfort and sometimes that is for me terribly frightening.
I am a passionate woman who has surely tasted of the goodness of God and I would love to report that I don't often forget that but in times of hardship I am someone who has seen the mighty hand of GOd only to doubt it when in the wilderness. I too like the Isarelites have seen the Red Seas in my life parted and then grumble and complain about no food or water in the desert and have often thought I would be better in my previous situation than in the current. The wrestling I have done as of lately is primarily due to my own desire for control and tendency to worry instead of trust. At one clear moment in this trial I remember thinking that I just did not want to do what God was asking and I just didn't want to trust but...to whom else can I go cause He has the words of eternal life. I felt stuck cause I desperately wanted out of my situation but I could not turn my back on my Lord cause I have seen the things he does and the beauty that follows His purposes. I also could not pretend that I am surrendered when in fact I am not, that false living would be even worse that turning my back on him. So it was in this time that I called in the big Guns ( those spirit embodied friends of mine that at scattered to the four corners of the world) to please pray and for insight, and I do not know that it was in those conversations that I heard from God. Those conversations instead provided the safe place to wrestle, those friends love me and point me back to the fact that God to loves me, and anything that he is doing will be for his beautiful purposes. God has been showing me his beautiful purposes in this trial, and I am seeing that sometimes the thing that we hate and try to rid ourselves of is the very thing that God uses to reveal himself in. My paradigm for viewing life and more importantly God in this life is changing. I am being liberated from control and worry, (the lenses that I often view things from) but it is deeper cause in my desire for control and when I worry I have seen God as desiring to be in control and wanting things his way. So there was this sense of God as task-master instead of father, lover, friend. He is faithfully showing me His love and most often this happens through my kids. They are so assured of my love and their importance to me, they are confident when they approach me and ask for whatever they want, they have no problem interrupting me or climbing all over me while I am talking or doing something. This for me is a small illustration of the Fathers desire for us to approach him, and in my response to my children, the way that I love them and can't stop it no matter what they do, I just love them. This reveals His heart towards us...
I can not really explain all that I feel Him doing, I truly feel like chains are being broken in my heart, I taste of the coming freedom from all that would seek to capture my soul. The way that I see God, my service to him, my life lived with friends and strangers is all changing somehow that I can't explain. The glasses that I am used to wearing I am taking off and I am in the period of time where my eyes are learning to adjust but if I patiently wait I will see clearly again.
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