Coaching for Non-Athletes

I've spent a good chunk of my life in the athletic arena.  As a competitor in various sports from the age of 5 all the way through college as a division I wrestler.  And after college as a coach at every level of competition from youth programs to college athletes, primarily in the sport of wrestling, but also in soccer and baseball.

There is something I have noticed about the relationship between a coach and a competitor that has a great parallel to leadership in general.

A coach has the ability to offer tremendously pointed critical feedback to their athlete.  In point of fact it is essential to their job as a coach to offer this criticism without softening the blow.  But most athletes don't feel this criticism as an attack, but rather as a help.

What is going on here?

What lessons can we learn for mentorship in other venues?

1) A coach is trusted to be completely invested in the success of the athlete.  In point of fact, the coach loses when the athlete loses, and wins when the athlete wins.  This trust is inherent in the relationship.  What does it look like to build this kind of trust in coaching relationships outside of the athletic arena?

2) A coach is trusted as an expert on the sport they are coaching.  This is usually because of two important facts: the coach has had a successful career in that sport far surpassing the level of those in the program, and the coach is able to defeat those he is coaching in direct competition.  What does it look like to demonstrate this level of mastery in an area of expertise other than athletics?

3) A coach doesn't simply offer criticism, they offer a practical vision of success.  The coach is a walking example of victory.  The coach can demonstrate successful techniques and strategies for the athlete to watch and learn.  The coach offers stories about what victory feels like.  How can a compelling vision be offered outside of the athletic arena?

4) A coach doesn't simply point at the objective and say, "get to work."  The coach also provides the strategy for success.  The coach offers a clear pathway to accomplish victory.  The coach leads the athlete through a process that is designed to end at the success of the athlete.  What does is look like to advocate for productive strategies in areas other than sports?

5) Criticism is offered within this larger framework of vision and strategy, coming from a trusted expert.  This criticism is focused on specific details, and designed to motivate the athlete, not to demoralize them.  This criticism is usually balanced by equal amounts of praise.  A good coach is always happy when the athlete is hard at work, but a good coach is never satisfied.  What does it look like to offer this kind of constructive criticism in other endeavors.

Synergy: Pt V

Material taken from a podcast by John Lee and Steven Schenk for UNITE WNY

Advice for Working with Ministry-Folks

First, recognize that pastors aren’t businesspeople.  While it seems unnecessary to say this, it actually isn’t.  As a business leader you will be tempted to think of pastors as stupid businesspeople.  Again, they aren’t stupid businesspeople, because they aren’t businesspeople.  They have a whole different set of values, paradigms, networks, and even vocabulary.  Many businesspeople have had experience working in other countries, it would be helpful to think of relationships with ministry leaders as a cross-cultural relationship.  Be patient, and persistent.

Second, pastors are trained to teach and counsel, not lead and manage.  Some pastors are great at this, others are horrible.  But most pastors are placed in positions where leadership and management skills are necessary without any training or experience in leading and managing.  Often it takes new pastors years to even recognize that managing an organization and leading a worship service are two fundamentally different tasks.  Be patient, and persistent.

Third, recognize that pastors are leaders and that this means they have sizeable egos.  Just like all leaders, they tend to think of themselves as the smartest people in the room, even on subjects about which they are clueless.  Having a degree in Biblical Languages doesn’t automatically prepare you to make church budgeting decisions.  Business leaders have made enormous and costly mistakes because they trusted their own egos and pastors do the same thing.  This means business leaders should be especially sensitive to the power dynamics in the relationships, many pastors have been taught that they need to be the person with all of the answers to everything pertaining to the church.  It may be hard for them to accept your expertise, until you have won their trust.  Recognizing their expertise while offering yours, will go along way toward easing this reality.  Be patient, and persistent.

Fourth, most pastors have a very different decision making process than most business leaders.  Pastors usually start with theology, then work through philosophy, then relationships and emotions, before finally figuring out what tasks they should perform.  Business leaders almost invariably work the other way around.  Proposing tasks and arguing out the best way to engage in mission is the way in which philosophy of business questions get answered, and the way in which partnerships get built.  Most business leaders prioritize mission and action, most church leaders prioritize theology and relationships.  This difference in fundamental process can be frustrating, but be patient and persistent.

Fifth, recognize that the church operates in some “false dichotomies” or some faulty paradigms.  There are ways that Christians and churches have come to think and live that are actually out of alignment with Scripture.  The division between what is sacred and what is secular is not a biblical division.  The very first person that the Bible records being “filled with the Holy Spirit” was not a pastor or a prophet, but a craftsman.  God has given business leaders important skills that are equally valuable to the Kingdom.  It is simply not the case that strategic planning, or budgets, or any other business tool is inherently “un-spiritual.”  Persistently bring your skills to the table.

Finally, recognize that ministry leaders have skills, wisdom, and resources that you lack and we need each other to be the church of Christ.  Offer your gifts, and receive theirs.  Work together to advance God’s Kingdom.

What Are We Doing Here?

Taken as a whole, I love what I do.  Some aspects of being a pastor come naturally to me, others have required work to learn but are enjoyable none-the-less, others are not-so-pleasant.  Being an effective manager, however, is something that wasn't even on my radar screen as a leader.  That has been the single largest growth area for me as a pastor...

I sure wish someone had sent me this article five years ago...

Vision-Strategy-Story

A friend shared recently with me the importance of staying connected to vision (big picture) and story (little picture) whenever we are in a "management" role making decisions about strategy.

They specifically pointed at how easy strategic decisions can become ends to themselves, and our focus on budgets, teams, partnerships, events, and programs can become unhinged from the desire to see God's Kingdom unfold in the lives of our neighbors and friends.

It really clicked for me.

I have been learning more about leadership (and in particular, how important the strategic structures of our church actually are), and simultaneously I have been realizing just how critical vision is to our community. Vision is hard to communicate, but when people have been gripped by a compelling vision they will sell everything, and commit decades of their lives towards realizing that vision.

It is here that vision and strategy need to align. If that strategy is not meaningfully and effectively aligned with that vision, then the vision CANNOT be realized.

All of this had the effect of helping me see clearly how important it is that we connect all three dots as often as possible in our own minds, and in the minds of those we lead.

• When we tell stories in our church, we must tie those stories directly to vision and strategy.
• When we share our strategies with our church, we must tie it to vision and story.
• When we cast vision, we must do so within the context of stories and communal strategies. 

When people hear a story about someone who was led by the Spirit to spend an evening in conversation and prayer with a neighbor, they will be moved emotionally. But if we can also connect that story to our vision to be a neighborhood church and to see the Blessings of God's Kingdom transform our neighborhood, it will have power to invite others into similar actions. And if we can also connect that story and vision to our strategies around Missional Service, our summer BBQs, our service partnerships, and people's individual vocation, THEN we will have hit the sweet spot.

When we tie all three together, then the story becomes a way of making the Big Picture the defining reality for people, and the Strategy a compelling course of action.

Leaders Get What They Want?

We often think that a leader is someone who gets to make decisions; a leader is someone who gets whatever they want.  This couldn't be more wrong-headed; a godly leader is a person who no longer thinks about what would fulfill his own desires, and instead works hard to make the community healthy and fruitful.  A leader shouldn't give people the things that he desires for himself, but instead, a leader should give people the things that they need to flourish.

Leaders don't do what makes themselves happy, they do what makes other people healthy.

Thoughts on Leadership

Preaching to 'Us' and the Three Magic Words

I was once asked by a younger leader, "how can I teach or lead someone in something that I haven't figured out?  I would be a hypocrite!"

Now, the truth of this statement should not be ignored!  It is quite true that we cannot lead someone where we have not been ourselves.  It is quite true that we cannot teach what we do not know.  It is quite true that we cannot give away what we do not have.  However...

...my response to my friend was this, "when we preach Jesus, we will always be preaching something that is beyond ourselves.  This is not hypocrisy, but faithfulness to the Scriptures.  If we were only preaching what we had ourselves mastered, then we would not be faithful to the whole counsel of the Kingdom."

So how do we reconcile these two opposing truths?

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I was taught by my pastor to preach to 'us,' and to rarely if ever preach to 'you.'  I have learned that there are rarely appropriate times to speak in the language of 'you people' but they are most certainly not when speaking difficult truths.  Even though I am a preacher, I am myself included in the congregation who is being preached to.  I must hear the words pronounced; I must receive the revelation, correction, admonition, challenge, encouragement, teaching, blessing, and wisdom.  Are you a teacher or a leader?  Number yourself among those who are taught and led!

Hearing my pastor preach this way modeled for me a humility before Christ, and before the church that I hope to emulate.  It also, however, provided an open door to hear the difficult call to carry the Cross of Christ.  The posture of humility from the preacher, including himself in the challenge, allowed me to be challenged as well.

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Then we come to the three magic words...

...I will never forget them.  I heard them often on the lips of my pastor, but the first time I heard him say them, he was standing in the pulpit.  I had never heard a pastor utter these words before.  I don't think I had ever heard a Christian speak them, certainly not about spiritual or theological matters.  They were a shock to my system, but a good shock.  Like cool water on a hot day, or the unexpected arrival of beautiful music that perfectly matches the mood of the moment, or a word of encouragement when rebuke was expected, came these words:

"I don't know."

Again, the posture of humility allows for our walls to come down, and for Christ to be revealed before us in all of His glory, all of His mercy, and all of His judgment.  We can hear the difficult words of challenge, when they come with a recognition of our common need for His grace, His wisdom, and His Kingdom.

Leaders

Good leaders give away all of the credit, but collect all of the blame.

Responsibility

Leadership is responsibility.

Responsibility, however, has two definitions:

1) Responsibility is having an obligation to do something about a particular situation.

2) Responsibility is being the primary cause of a particular situation.

The first definition of responsibility is what we mean when we ask, "who is in charge?" whereas the second definition of responsibility is what we mean when we ask, "who broke the lamp?" or "who built the fence?"  One definition has to do with the present and the future, and who has the authority, the mandate, the charge, to make something happen in a particular way.  The other definition has to do with the past and the present, who is to blame or credit for the way a particular thing happened or is happening.  In some ways the first definition of responsibility is actually about accepting blame/credit before the fact!

Leadership is about both kinds of responsibility.

A leader takes the blame for whatever happened on their watch.  Although a good leader will pass along the credit to those around them, a good leader doesn't shirk blame.  But assigning and taking blame and/or credit is actually not the primary way in which leaders take responsibility.

Leadership is ultimately about the first kind of responsibility.

To be a leader is to see oneself as the primary person tasked with accomplishing something.  This doesn't mean a leader does everything themselves, (creating teams and delegating tasks are encouraged) but the leader is the one who says, "Yes, I am responsible to see it done.  If it doesn't get done, and done right, I will be to blame."

Leadership is Four Things

In my experience, leadership can be defined in four ways:

1. Influence - The ability to change the thinking, behavior, and desires of others.  Influence can be seen clearly in a leader by observing the people following the leader, are they taking their cues from the leader or not?
2. Responsibility - The willingness to take ownership over a situation, problem, task, goal, person, or community.  Responsibility is seen as a leader simply does what needs to be done, or arranges to have it done by orchestrating and delegating to others.
3. Confrontation - The ability to say what needs to be said in spite of how unpopular it might be.  Confrontation can be rejecting a poor proposal, pointing out improper thinking and behavior, or bringing an optimist back down to earth with some difficult facts.
4. Vision - The ability to see things that do not yet exist.  Vision is ultimately an orientation towards the future that some people possess in more or less quantity than others.

All four of these characteristics are possessed in some measure by all people, and so it is fair to talk about leadership existing on a spectrum.  On one end are those individuals who are only capable of one or more of these character traits in fits and spurts and only when asked to do so by others, or when circumstances force it upon them.  In the middle are those individuals who can learn to exhibit these traits, and can ultimately grow into capable leaders.  On the other end are those gifted leaders who do these things in their sleep, they aren't capable of turning it off, they simply lead naturally.

Of course, we should be clear, this is not what godly leadership looks like, simply what leadership is.  Godly leadership must lead in a direction that honors God, and do so with a character, a posture, and an attitude that reflects Gods ultimate authority.  Indeed, godly leadership can perhaps be defined by reading through St. Pauls letter to the Corinthian church and the famous chapter defining love.

Vision, Passion, Discipline, Risk

James Ryle gave this talk at the very first men's retreat I ever went to.

http://vimeo.com/12927988

Mature Leaders Embody Love

This is from a friend of mine:

Mature Leaders are patient:
They don’t give up quickly.

Mature Leaders are kind:
They understand the power and value of gentleness, and the healing work of a soft word spoken in season.

Mature Leaders do not envy:
They rejoice as they see others grow and develop within the organization.

Mature Leaders do not boast:
They aren’t quick to share their own accomplishments but would rather see others receive credit they deserve.

Mature Leaders are not proud:
They are not insistent on their own way but are diligent about gathering the perspective of others.

Mature Leaders do not dishonor others:
They do not secretly point out the shortcoming of others, but consider how the gifts they posses can compliment and compensate for others.

Mature Leaders are not self-seeking:
They are thinking about how to serve their co-laborers.

Mature Leaders are not easily angered:
They do not quickly lose their temper, but are careful and guarded with their words, understanding that a single word misspoken can do more damage to an organization – or to a staff worker - than can years of service.

Mature Leaders keep no record of wrongs:
They are not one who will list out the mistakes of the past but instead have released them and forgiven them for their sake and for the sake of the work of the body.

Mature Leaders do not delight in evil but rejoice with the truth:
They are grieved when there are failed relationships.

Mature Leaders always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere:
This is packed full of meaning – rather than exposing faults of other staff, they actively engage in protecting their reputation, their role, and their value within the organization.

Mature Leaders never fail:
They exhibit all of the above day after day.

Leaders Eat Last

Build with Strength

"Train faithful men, don't try to train men to be faithful."

I heard this the other day, and thought it worthy of reflection.  I find it to be good and wise advice, so long as it is a guideline with plenty of wiggle room, and not a rule without exception.

Find those within the community who have proven themselves committed, invested, and passionate, then teach them how to use their commitment, investment, and passion in healthy, effective, and fruitful ways.

Drink the Water?

I have a friend who works in water treatment for the City of Buffalo.  This persons job is to help provide clean water to the people of our City.  So the question is, do they drink tap-water?

They know what's in it!  They know where it comes from!  Their job is to tell people its safe to drink!

So the question is, do they drink the water?

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This is, of course, a wonderful parable...

...there once was a City that got its drinking water from a particular man.  This man had become rich selling the water, but he wouldn't touch the water himself...

The question is most easily applicable to us as followers of Jesus.  When we encourage others to 'drink the water,' are we hypocrites?  Are we embracing the teachings of Jesus in our own life?  Do we live in community?  Are we learning to love our enemies?  Are we growing in our love for God?  Are we learning a life of joy and celebration?  Are we sacrificially generous?  Are we engaged in friendships with non-Christians?  Are we learning how to throw great parties?  Are we mentoring others in the ways of Jesus?

...are we indeed His followers?

Do we love Him, and His wisdom, or do we love the idea of Him?

Do we drink the water?

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My friend, does drink the tap water...

Why Tents are Best: Sojourning as a Prime Ministry Strategy

We like the phrase 'soft architecture' not least because it brings to mind edible structures, but primarily because of the functionality implied.  Christianity is a missionary religion.  In many ways our faith was birthed in a syncretic impulse, taking fundamentally Jewish concepts, commitments, and creeds and translating them into a plethora of non-Jewish cultural paradigms.  As such we must stay flexible with our practices.

We are committed to a person, not a tradition; to a grand strategy, not a particular set of practices; to a community, not an institution.*  This necessitates that our fundamental posture towards life and ministry must be that of a pervasive flexibility.  We must constantly be learning, re-evaluating, listening, and re-organizing.

In short, we are sojourners; our philosophy of life must be nomadic, we cannot afford to built permanent structures, because then we will be committed to maintaining THEM instead of what is central.  This applies to everything we do; worship styles, preaching styles, small group ministries, children's ministry; as well as things like how we pray, what books we read, where we spend our money, and how we organize our time; it even applies to where we work, how we raise our children, and the theological commitments we have made.

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*This, of course, doesn't need to imply that traditions, practices, or institutions are evil, or even avoidable, merely that they aren't primary.  Indeed, they should only be implemented insofar as they aid the pursuit of what IS primary; Jesus, Mission, and Church.

Women in Church Leadership

Pastor Rose was the host of the Society of Vineyard Scholars conference in Seattle. She is a really neat lady that I had the good fortune to meet while at the conference last month.

This is an issue that can be quite divisive in certain corners of the church, but the Vineyard movement had resolved this issue before I even knew what a Vineyard church was... local Vineyard Churches have the authority to ordain/license anyone they wish, male or female. This means an individual local Vineyard Church could be either complementarian (a euphemism for men wielding the power) or egalitarian, but the national body is functionally giving support to the ordination of women.

Against Christian Industrialization (For Sean)

Leadership with John Wimber from Vineyard Resources on Vimeo.

Paper Pt IX: Implications for Authority

Kingdom Power and Ecclesiastical Authority

Trying to dig a posthole is problematic enough, having small children try to ‘help’ only makes it worse; usually they end up standing in the hole you are trying to dig. God exercises power by giving it to others to act in collaboration with Him in spite of the potential problems with this approach, Jesus models the same thing in His ministry; the disciples are often standing in the way of Jesus’ intended purpose. In handing a child a shovel, you are not actually asking them to help you dig a hole, you are offering to teach them how to use a tool; Jesus’ larger purpose had to do with what was happening in the disciples themselves. The Cross itself crystallizes this into a poignant focus, it is the exact point at which God empowers His people at His own expense; dealing with human opposition in a way that actually benefits us instead of eradicates us.

1) Power is for Others – Those who have power, influence, and control in the Christian community have been given this for the sake of others. Leadership is for the Church, not the other way around; strength is for service, not status. This makes discipleship (not mere education or direction, but rather building up others into Christ) the primary purpose and goal of leadership.

2) Leadership is for Equipping – An obvious corollary is the equipping function of leadership. Leaders should be creating space for others to learn to engage in the purposes of the Church. Our hiring practices greatly inhibit this; every time we hire outside our sphere of discipleship we communicate bad theology. Many will ask, “what do I do when I have a leadership shortage?” The response is, “you don’t have a leadership problem, you have a discipleship problem;”21 hiring people who can ‘get the job done’ reveals a failure to understand that the job is the creation of people who can get the job done. This, of course, signifies a willingness to allow ‘amateurs’ to lead the charge, which will frustrate some, just as it frustrated the Chief Priests in first century Palestine.22

3) Leadership is for Sending – The role of leadership in the Church is to commission the Church for pioneering work. This is a major problem point for the Church; we have difficulty breaking out of our ‘gathering’ paradigm and into a ‘sending’ one. We must be diligent at establishing new works by sending every capable soul to the mission field. This ties in directly to our definition of success; a large crowd with open wallets and smiling faces. If we actually understood that our “success is determined by our successors”23 we would be perfectly happy to dismantle our own ministry, send out dozens of new ministries, and start over from scratch.

The Future of the Church

(Click the title link)

"In our organic church movement, we see our entire leadership farm system as starting with lost and broken people, not already saved and committed folks. We believe that many of our greatest heroes of the future woke up this morning with a hangover in the wrong person’s bed. That broken life, transformed by the power of the gospel, actually will become the energy of a movement when released to affect others. To try and coral that energy and consume it with Bible study lessons by older Christians who are far removed from a changed life is to lose all the inertia of a movement. We need mentors who will release and empower rather than hold people back and create dependency."