I Remember

I thought I should follow up on what Steve's Blog was saying and post the memories I have from this whole experience I have found myself in. This picture I put at the top of my post is a picture of me when I was about a year and a half old in the Lord. I think I have grow since then, and yes I am wearing plastic wrap.

I remember my second week at church and Kristin said to me, "Hi Mary." I was blown away at the fact that she remembered my name.

I remember hanging out with Susan, Lea, and Melissa at celebration on Sunday nights because I loved going to church.

I rememeber the Sunday night I knew with everything in me that I was saved and that the Lord loved me.

I remember going on my first mission trip to Mexico and swearing that I would live there someday. (Who knows?)

I rememeber asking Pastor Mike if I could be on the worship team and I remember how welcoming and awesome everyone was.

I remember when I confessed to Kerri a sin that I was so ashamed of.

I remeber asking Tamy, in a passing moment, if she would disciple me, and I remember thinking that she would forget. So I figured that I wouldn't ask again and just leave it be. I remember the phone call I got from her because she didn't forget.

I remember the trip to Mexico where Steve taught me how to play the guitar, which by the way I never thought would amount to much.

I remember going over to Steve and Tamy's house 3 or 4 nights a week for one reason or another. I remember thinking that these people were so awesome and that I would go anywhere they would go.

I remembered wanting more passion from God and for God and the thing that was holding me back was the fact that I didn't tithe. I remember the first time I tithed. (That was a fun time because the first thing that I felt called to tithe on was the $6,000 my parents gave me for college. That was fun telling them that I tithed 10% on that. The fur was flying that night!)

I remember when Yaks opened. I remember crying everyday for the first year. I remember hiding in the bathroom because I was crying so much and thinking that I was safe till Nancy walked in. She prayed for me.

I rememeber the time I realized that I needed to take responsibility for my relationship with God, that was time I started to tithe.

I remember the day that I called Jeff Jones and told him that I felt called to lead worship. I remember writing papers and reading articles for my internship.

I remember being so excited at the possibility of another Girl's House. I rememeber moving into the Girl's House. I also remember the 5:00 am meetings at Nan's house.

I remember feeling called to plant a church with Steve and Tamy, and for the first time not being afraid to leave the Vineyard. I wouldn't be leaving I would be sent out.

I remember whe Sean and Linda came back and Sean started to meet with me about worship. I remember the first thing that he said to me about leading worship. "Character over quality anyday." I remember starting to lead worship and the first time I had a meltdown. I remember when Sean asked me what was the matter I told him that I felt like a big a**hole. I remember he laughed.

I remember starting on Staff and wondering what the heck everyone was thinking. I remember 301, boy do I remember 301. I don't think I will ever forget that. That was the most family I have ever done.

I remember all the 6am meetings at the Girl's House.

I remember going to Buffalo for the first time.

I remember going to World Mandate and being rocked and for the first time realizing the urgency of salvation of unbelievers. I remember for the first time seeing the world through the eyes of God.

I remember being loved and feeling loved. I remember being encouraged to go for God with everything in me. I remember being told that I am the hope of the World. I remember being told that I can dream big, that I can dream God's dreams and that it was okay for me to reach out and grab ahold of them and run with them. I remember being told that people were 100% for me and whatever God was doing in me. I remember learning to do family and learning to love the family that God gave me. I remember growing.



This is me 4 years after meeting the Lord. I guess the goofiness never left.

Our Last Sunday

This past Sunday was our last Sunday morning gathering with our sending Church. We are still in town for another month, but because our Church doesn't hold corporate gatherings for the month of July, we will not be attending any more corporate Church events. We leave August 1st for Buffalo!

Aside from the ever growing anticipation, this last 48 hours has afforded me the opportunity for quite a bit of reflection...

I have learned that being a Christian is about a commitment to the person of Christ. Not a commitment to my personal salvation.

I have learned that following Jesus is always done with a brother at your side. Always.

I have learned that my sin can be conquered by the blood of Christ. If I allow it.

I have learned that God does not hold my sin over my head. He is my biggest supporter.

I have learned that learning is about heart changing lessons that result in lifestyle changes, not information that makes me feel that I am better than others.

I have learned that God is heartbroken over the world that He created. He longs for His children to return to Him.

I have learned that I will be judged a success not by what I build, or what I accomplish, but by my love of God and who I touch with that love.

I have learned to worship the one who is worthy.

I have learned that I can actively chose to cooperate with God's Spirit, just like I can actively chose to reject it. I can allow space in my life for his voice and his action; those times of quiet reflection, listening, reading, praying, even working.

I remember Pastor Mike cracking jokes from the pulpit the first time I came to Church; I was at home. I remember him confessing sin from the pulpit; I was relieved. I remember his unwillingness to fumble about with questions that don't have answers; I gained, for the first time, a value for the mystical reality of life with Jesus.

I remember meeting with Pastor Kyle (before he was Pastor Kyle) to come up with Bible Study questions for our small group. For the first time in my life I would spend an entire week meditating, reading, thinking, talking, and studying a single passage of the gospels. It remains to this day one of the richest experiences with the Bible that I have had.

I remember meeting with Pastor Jeff (before he was Pastor Jeff) for the first time one-on-one, and he gave a heartfelt invitation to open up to him. He offered to be there for me, he let me know that if I was struggling he was there for me.

I remember the first time I sobbed and snotted on the floor in front of a group of men, confessing my sin that had been eating at me for months. I remember the relief.

I remember my first trip oversees.

I remember when Pastor Mike told me I was preaching, and I was scared to death.

I remember Cedar throwing up every five minutes, and I remember conversations with Levi.

I remember when I realized that I was going to give my life in service to the Church.

I remember when I was finally able to say the word 'pastor' in reference to myself without stuttering.

I remember sitting in a staff meeting where everyone there told me I was called to plant Churches.

I remember Lisa's deep thoughts, Kerri's dogmatic support, Janie making me laugh, and teasing Lynne about being a preacher one day.

I remember getting licensed as a Pastor.

I remember having our own private, world-famous worship leader; and it didn't even come close to Jeff on the guitar, everyone singing their heart out to God, and Bean playing rythym on a cooking pot with a whisk like Jesus was about to come back!

I remember Jason Verduzco catching on fire! I remember being there when he had to confess the sin that haunted him.

I remember so many faces, and so many prayers.

I remember Zoe’s birth, and the way our Church embraced my in-laws with love.

I remember going to World Mandate with Sean, and having my vision expanded, my heart broken, and my head spun, inside of one weekend.

I remember the first time we had James and Rebecca over for dinner and I couldn’t stop laughing for several hours, I hadn’t laughed that hard, that long, for years.

I remember Nancy’s ubiquitous smile and her attitude that always said, “You can! With Jesus you can do that and more!”

I remember a month in the Ukraine where I learned to play the guitar and fell in love with the Church. Where Tamy and I, Dave and Robin, were bonded together forever by our experiences with each other.

I remember walking with David DeMar every Monday night, coffee in hand, around down-town Redding.

I remember Sjoera's hugs, Kristin's practical jokes, Brad's death. I remember wishing I could have done more to reach out to Paul and Tim, Monday nights at the Barham's house, Carly's phone calls, Grazes at the Amens, Brett's handshakes. I remember the Church that taught me, the Church that is throwing me out of the nest so I can learn to fly, and oneday throw someone out of my nest...

I remember the women who poured their lives into my wife. Seeing her respond to God’s love for her, and call on her life.

I will forever be changed.

I love Jesus, and yet know I do not love him enough.

I love the Church, and yet know I must love her more.

I love the world, and yet know Jesus has still to truly break my heart for his lost ones.

I believe we are called to influence those around us for the Kingdom, and yet I am still learning how to lead.

I have become a Christian here…

missional potato salad?

Here are some pictures from our neighborhood BBQ. A little over half of these folks are in our small group. The others are folks from the apartment complex, or co-workers, and a few others from another small group in our church. We had a lot of fun, fed lots of people, and had some great conversations.

This is all ultimately born out of the realization that it is awfully hard to “love your neighbor as yourself” if you don’t hang out together, no agenda, just together.

My wife took one of the younger ladies with her and took some plates of food to the gas stations attendants at the two corner stores. She was minus a plate so I took Sam with me and went back over with another. We got to have a brief conversation with a couple of guys named "Mike." We invited them to the coffee shop, we will see if they show up.



This is a friend and her co-worker.



These are some of my neighbors.



These are the children playing together.



These are the other children playing together!